Neither originality nor thematic diversity are hallmarks of my poetry. With rare exceptions I write poetry about only one thing—US foreign relations. My compositions are firmly in the light verse genre and make no pretense to originality. I generally start with a Kipling poem, “borrow” his meter, rhyme scheme, and mood, and then try to adapt these to my purposes. The results are not high art, but they tend to amuse my students. I make all of my students of US foreign relations write poetry. Their reactions to these assignments follow a fairly predictable pattern: they groan, they complain, and then they write poetry that is clever, amusing, and insightful. Several examples of students’ poetry, along with several of my own poems, appear below.
Take up the Rich Man's burden,
Send forth your millions with haste,
Go bind fractious populations,
Before it is too late.
Build bridges and schools and sewers,
Build armies and a security force.
You can succeed where others have failed,
If only you stay the course.
Take up the Rich Man's burden,
like you should have in ’89—
You left Afghanistan smolder
And you wasted precious time.
We told you of the danger,
We told you what to do.
You've dithered long enough,
Its time to see it through!
Take up the Rich Man's burden,
Afghanistan is in your hands,
There is no other nation,
That can unite the warring bands.
Forget about the British,
The Russians and the Greeks,
Forget about the Mongols,
The Persians and the Sikhs.
Take up the Rich Man's burden,
and forget the failures past.
You have more money than they did,
The nation you build can last.
You've made the same mistakes, and worse, it’s true
but it is not too late.
Afghanistan's masses are calling to you,
Will you leave them to their fate?
Take up the Rich Man's burden—
There's no imperialism in this sentiment.
Just keep at it a few decades more,
And we'll be ready for self-government.
Ignore our recent history,
Ignore our far history too.
We haven't quite worked out how to govern this place,
But you'll keep trying, won't you?
A GREAT and glorious thing it is
To learn, for sixteen weeks or so,
The Lord knows what of that and this,
Ere minds are filled with what they know
The China Market, the Open Door
The New Frontier, the Iraq War.
Forty-five hours this semester spent
On Roosevelt, Wilson, Kennedy and Reagan
And the farflung places they have sent
Young men and women by the millions.
And for what?- Ask the Iraqis
What comes of all our 'ologies.
A skirmish in some rural location
A splendid war in a farflung isle
Then forty years of tense stagnation
Has freedom’s cause advanced a mile?
The last best hope? The Free World’s leader?
Or the Great Satan and Evil Empire?
Hoffman says in tone so sure
Access, Arbitration,Transparency are universal
But Americans, in many attempts to these procure,
Have been met with stern reversal.
Nicaragua? Afghanistan? the Vietnamese?
Where are the inevitable democracies?
William A. Williams says not so,
And castigates his beloved nation.
Americans are blinded by what they “know,”
And place limits on others self-determination.
The tragedy fills library bookshelves,
While we deny to others what we demand for ourselves.
American Empire, our ruination,
Despite our very best intentions.
No, American Umpire is our station,
There is a grand purpose to our interventions.
South Korea, Japan, and Germany,
All pluralist, liberal, democratic, and free.
And so it comes to this,
I will give the careful an opportunity
To discover what most will probably miss
A chance to see a final exam question early.
Is the United States an empire, no or yes?
In 1,000 words give three reasons why, no more, no less.
To China we gave many blank checks.
A regular foreign policy train wreck.
But when it went awry,
And people asked why,
Truman blamed it all on Chiang Kai-shek.
American Foreign Relations
Have peeved a great many nations.
Our interests we secure,
By strategies obscure,
And it causes no end of vexations.
"Boxers United in Righteousness,"
Deported in manners quite riotous.
To the Empress they seemed,
Somewhat better esteemed,
When foreigners bore their frightfulness.
Leave blood flowing
Out of the wound of the Bear,
To make sure she cannot bear
A war following the war ongoing.
Beware! Beware!
Robbers are over there!
Unlock your house, throw the key away,
And keep the door open to be safer.
-by Shiro-
Languages will get you far,
Just read Kennan’s memoir.
If you take a Russian course,
You could end up on Vladimir's horse.
When we look at history,
We must see beyond the periphery.
We must analyze the past,
But understand it is not a forecast.
-by Daniel-
America was born a nation averse to domination
With a foreign policy that avoided confrontation.
Force was not generally feasible anyway.
Its nascent institutions could hardly make hay.
So a novel approach to the world evolved.
The zero-sum game of affairs was dissolved.
Though time has tested the country’s commitment
and some of its deeds have sowed resentment,
America has never forgotten its interest
In upholding and promoting a world built on trust.
-by Jarjieh-
We want free trade, that's what we'll pursue.
We want multilateralism, that's what we'll try to do.
Okay how about unilateralism, that sounds good and new.
Okay maybe that isn't the best, what's next to turn to?
-by Minh-
Never ever ever start a land war in Asia.
Couldn’t get the Serbs outta Bosnia and Croatia.
Don’t step in the Holy Land, it won’t end in prais-e.
Can’t please them all, multilateralism’s craz-e!
-by Sasha-